How to forget bad memories? How to forget an unpleasant situation

Greetings to all my readers and subscribers, and those who have just decided to join a large number people involved in self-development and their health. This article will talk about our negative memories, which sometimes like a "snowball" haunt us. Let's learn how to get rid of them effectively.

Everyone makes a lot of mistakes in their life, and this is quite normal. We are not robots to do everything perfectly. But some people learn from them experience, while others engage in self-flagellation, remembering mistakes again and again.

Some, especially strong negative memories make a person feel embarrassed, ashamed or afraid, and this is very bad from a psychological point of view. This greatly spoils the mood and on this basis it can, but it is very difficult to fight it.

It is common for any person to make mistakes in life, and the main thing is to learn to extract from them positive points and don't dwell on the past. The following tips will hopefully help you a little to forget all the bad things in your life.

1 Learn to love yourself

It is necessary in any situation to accept yourself as you are, and not to drive into the rigid framework imposed by society. If you love yourself and begin to enjoy life, then it will also be favorable to you.

2 Stop obsessing over your problems and past failures

If you are constantly haunted by negative memories from the past and prevent you from living a normal life, you can try using this psychological technique.

Present the problem in full force. You need to experience it again, only in your thoughts. Remember all the details, feelings. Try to make it as bright and natural as possible. After you have reached maximum visual perception, imagine the problem in the form of some image that came at that moment.

Watch him from the side, carefully peering into the details and after a while mentally remove him from your head, thinking about something good. You can then fix the result, for example, push-ups from the floor. This technique of replacing the negative with the positive is used in the army. And she works well.

3 Look at future problems and troubles from a philosophical point of view

There is no such thing as everything going like clockwork. Every person has problems, both in the past and in the future. Differences between successful people and underdogs is in their scale.

If a car breaks down and there is no money to repair it, one person can be completely demoralized, and a professional military man, for example, can fight for his life and be in a practically hopeless situation, but at the same time.

All problems are relative, and mean exactly as much as we attach importance to them.

4 "Draw a Problem" Technique

Of course, many of us are not artists, but if the negative memories persist, take a piece of blank paper and draw a picture of the problem. Draw the first thing that pops into your head. This works in the same way as the previous technique, only with the help of graphics it is possible to work out the image more strongly. After you have drawn it, burn the paper. After a few sessions, the experience should decrease significantly.

After completing these exercises, think about the good,. Life is beautiful if it is treated in a positive way! Good luck to you!

Every person has experienced periods in his life that he would not like to remember. Many, despite the difficulties, cope with this and continue to live on, only sometimes remembering past troubles. Others constantly think about it, thereby depriving themselves of the opportunity to enjoy the present and future events. They want to go back and fix something so that their life is different.

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It doesn’t matter what exactly oppresses a person: parting with a man, the death of a loved one, feelings of guilt, missed opportunities or betrayal of a woman. It is necessary to try to erase the past from memory forever in order to begin to live in the present. Thoughts about past negative events are not able to improve a person's life, they deprive him of happiness.

Why the past won't let go

Many are tormented by the question: why do some, even after severe trials and shocks, easily recover and are able to start new life, and the rest fall into depression for years after a failed one-month romance. A person seems to get stuck in resentment and innuendo, constantly feeling negative, which does not allow him to forget the painful situation, and spends all the time in anguish.

Possible reasons:

• Self-pity. Sometimes this happens because a person likes to feel sorry for himself and does not want to change, because he is comfortable sitting in his shell and cherishing his troubles, closing himself off from his surroundings. It looks like masochism.
• Fear of defeat. Because of the received negativity, a person thinks that if something has not worked out for him before, then he will never succeed. Or, if someone once offended him, he will do the same again. Psychologists compare this to driving a car: if the passenger cannot look ahead, he really wants to watch the rear-view mirror, in which there is only the road that has already been passed. This is the past.

Instead of only occasionally looking back, a person does not look to the future at all. It is better to always look forward and look back only to feel feedback from your present self. actions.

It is very difficult for many people to let go of the past on their own without resorting to the help of a specialist. But before you go to a psychologist, you can try to do it yourself. It all depends on the age, personality and character, on the atmosphere in which a person’s childhood passed. Healing from chronic wounds is a difficult and lengthy procedure, but no matter what burden hangs over your shoulders, each person has the strength for this. Most actionable advice psychologists:

Throwing away the negativity of the past and letting go of resentment is much easier than it seems. The main thing is to start right now, and already in a short time a person is drawn into a new and happy life.

For many people, the problem of developing memory and skills memorization and assimilation of texts is more relevant than the ability to forget the past and get rid of unnecessary information.

Today you can find a large number of advertisements in newspapers, on television and on the Internet, the headlines and announcements of which are full of promises to improve and restore memory. Anyone today can independently and easily find a mass useful information About, how to develop memory. But for effective work our memory needs not only the ability to reliably memorize, store and, if necessary, reproduce the necessary information. It is also important to be able to forget it.

In mnemonics (methods and techniques that facilitate memorization), there are special techniques designed for deliberate forgetting. And indeed, why, if there is involuntary and voluntary memorization, can forgetting be only involuntary?

So, the totality of methods and techniques of the ability to forget is called flying technology. The origin of this word is in Greek mythology. Leta is the river of oblivion located in the underworld of Hades. Souls arriving in realm of the dead Having tasted the water from this river, they received oblivion and no longer remembered their earthly existence. From here came the expression - to sink into oblivion, meaning disappearance without a trace and oblivion.

What is the use of flying technology and its laws of forgetting? In what cases are they needed?

First of all, answering these questions, it should be said that forgetting is not a definitely negative quality of human memory, since the functioning of mnemonic processes without forgetting processes will be inadequate. It would be appropriate to recall the words of the outstanding Soviet psychologist Alexander Romanovich Luria - “ Many are working on how to find ways to remember better? But no one even thinks about the question: how best to forget?»

In this article, we will consider the most effective ways that help a person forget the past, which has a traumatic effect on his psyche, and learn how to forget information that has lost its relevance.

Forgetting methods can be used in at least two cases:

• To suppress unpleasant memories, especially those that have become compulsively repetitive.
• In order to erase unnecessary information from memory, which simply clutters up our brain.

Forgetting Method #1 - Suppression

This flying technique has a psychotherapeutic orientation, with its help you can forget the memories that traumatize the psyche.

Often the memory of unpleasant events does not give people peace, and they begin to fear that these traumatic memories will start to “emerge” again, and the more they are afraid of this, the more these fears are getting stronger. To relieve obsessions (involuntarily intrusive thoughts), you can use an exercise called "burning letter":

• Memories that make you suffer and experience discomfort, describe in detail and transfer them to a piece of paper. Then take this sheet, crumple it and place it in some kind of refractory dish, set it on fire. Watching the paper burn, think about how your experiences are burned, how they crumble and turn into ashes. All negative memories burned away! Throw the ashes out the window and scatter them in the wind!

The meaning of the “burning letter” exercise is that it helps not only to forget information, but to become the master of your memories. A person experiencing discomfort from past events can thus forget them. Of course this forgetting process can be unpleasant, but often it gives the desired effect: a person does not turn on defense mechanisms, does not suppress memories, but on the contrary, by describing these events, he gets rid of the memories associated with them.

Since ancient times, fire has played the role of the first for a human psychotherapist: looking at the flame, a person, in fact, underwent a psychotherapy session, clearing himself of heavy thoughts and relieving the burden of primitive stresses from his shoulders. And if a person has a good imagination, and he is able to vividly imagine that not only paper, but also memories that traumatize his psyche are burning in the fire, then even if he wants, he will not be able to reproduce them.

" TV"Is another exercise often used by psychologists and psychotherapists in their practice to rid the patient of his burdensome memories:

• Try to transfer your negative experiences as vividly as possible on the big TV screen. Remember everything down to the smallest detail. Then take the remote, and mentally turn off the sound, view the "silent movie". Further, in a similar way, deprive the visualization of clarity, contrast, and, finally, brightness. Eventually, the image dims and disappears completely. The main thing is not to rush! To give the process of forgetting more effect, you can mentally unplug the cord from the outlet or throw the TV out the window. If the negative memories are not so tragic (say, just unpleasant), then with the help of this exercise you can translate them into a comedy genre. Imagine these events recorded on a video camera. Mentally let the record in reverse side, scroll it to high speed, use slow motion, add funny music to the picture, put a comedian in the "movie", etc. If you learn to direct your memories, then it will be easier for you to manage them. Besides, where there is humor, there is no place for neurosis.

These exercises may not help you completely get rid of memories, but they will teach you not to be afraid of them. And this is very important, because eliminating the fear of negative memories, we eliminate the cause of their involuntary appearance.

Forgetting Method #2 - Deletion

Other forgetting technique is designed to remove unnecessary information from memory that has lost its relevance and clutters up the “archive” of memory. For example, you can release mnemonic matrices from an already applied information material in order to fill them with new content.

Simplest forgetting method called " summer technical rag».

• For example, we filled the memory matrix with a number of images created from words. Then, focusing on the first cell of the matrix, we take a wet rag and erase the image (figurative group) in it. The first cell remains, we continue to see it clearly, but now it is empty, the place is free and now new associative compositions can be placed on it. Next, we sequentially, cell by cell, go through the entire matrix and erase all the remaining images in a similar way.

It should be noted that this method is not very convenient if the mnemonic matrices have big sizes. After all, it will take a lot of time and effort to consistently erase information from each individual cell. In such cases, it is appropriate to apply the laws of forgetting Solomon Veniaminovich Shereshevsky, a Russian-Soviet journalist and professional mnemonist, who, speaking with intellectual numbers in front of a huge audience, was forced not only to memorize large sequences of numbers, words, incoherent syllables, etc., but also to erase everything it's out of memory before the next view.

• « Worried that the individual sessions would not get mixed up with each other, I mentally erase the board and, as it were, cover it with a film that is completely hopeless and impenetrable. When the session ends, I mentally take it off ... I'm still talking to the audience, and at this time I kind of crush this film with my hands, hearing how it crunches.”- Shereshevsky shared secrets. So he deleted information immediately from the entire field of the mnemonic matrix, and not from each of its individual cells. In the event that such a method did not help to effectively forget the information, Solomon Veniaminovich resorted at first glance to paradoxical ways of forgetting: “ In order to remember, people write down ... It seemed ridiculous to me, and I decided to do it my own way: since they write down, therefore, they do not need to remember. So, if I write it down, I will know that I don’t need to remember it ... And I began to apply this law of forgetting in small things: in any assignments, in surnames, in telephones».

Trying to remember important information, most people tend to write it down. And the more often we write down what we want to remember, the less we use our memory. This is a direct path to memory atrophy, because without getting enough load, it works less and less. As a result, people come to the sad conclusion that they have a bad memory, although they themselves are often to blame for this.

Try not to use notepads and notebooks, trust your memory, load it so that it can fully work ( memory development exercises), and then it will stop letting you down. Mark something on paper only in case you need to forget it!

The process of mastering the skills of forgetting (as well as memorization) proceeds in accordance with the laws of Hegel's dialectics. At a certain point, the experience of voluntary forgetting leads to a qualitative leap, allowing you to forget unnecessary information only due to willpower without the use of special methods forgetting.

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Everyone has experienced things in their lives that they don't want to remember. Numerous betrayals and disappointments, illnesses and deaths of loved ones, a complete collapse in a career, shame and misunderstanding - all this I want to get out of my head and never remember again.

But our brain is designed in such a way that some especially vivid memories, often of a negative nature, remain and constantly remind of themselves. This can have a bad effect on the present and prevent you from moving forward.

In this case, I want to forget the past forever and start thinking about the future. It is interesting that it is impossible to predict which memories will fade over time, and which ones will still torment long time.

Consciously forgetting the past

To get rid of unpleasant memories, it is first of all important " don't get hung up" On this. The more we try to forget something, the more we think about it. Therefore, in order to get rid of bad memories, you should simply not think about them.

If events are associated with certain people and places, then it is important to change the place of residence and limit communication with certain people. In other words, it is important to protect yourself from everything that may remind you of the troubles that have happened.

If a we are talking about a difficult breakup between lovers, it is important to hide or throw away all joint photos and gifts. Try not to visit places where spending time together was especially frequent. Do not think that because of this you will have to limit yourself to such things for the rest of your life.

Restrictions are needed only for the first time, while the memories are still reflected by the nagging pain in the chest. Over time, when emotional experiences about this are replaced by indifference, you can safely get hidden things and visit the above public institutions.

When it hurts a lot, we distort memories

How to forget your bad past forever? The answer may be disappointing, but it is impossible. You can completely forget your past life only in the case of amnesia, but this option is unlikely to suit an adequate person. If memories do not let go, it may be worth rethinking them in order to understand what exactly causes resentment and bitterness of disappointment.

But in order not to go deep into a depressive state, it is important to look for positive or neutral moments in these memories, and try to concentrate all possible attention on them. This will allow you to turn unpleasant memories into positive emotions in the future.

Memories are all we have left of the past. The same event two different person can remember up to the opposite. It all depends on the emotions that a person is experiencing at the time of the incident.

And if you constantly remember certain things, distorting them a little, then over time it will seem that the distorted version was actually real. This feature of our brain should be used if you want a certain event to have a positive character in the future.

Coolness as endurance training

How to forget your negative past forever or turn it into a positive future? To solve this issue, you can try to use composure. That is, mentally go through an exciting situation, but see yourself as a third indifferent person. This is the only way to calmly look at it from the outside and try to reduce the negative aspects that are haunting.

If the experiences are so strong that even mental reflection on the current incident causes unbearable pain, then you can safely praise yourself. Forcing yourself to relive the memories again is very important step to eliminate negativity.

This is a kind of subconscious training to hone willpower and stamina. Over time, you will get tired of grieving with mental experiences, and the brain will push the exciting situation into the background.

Forget unhappy love

All people are capable of experiencing sincere feelings, and many open up to each other in these feelings. Accordingly, any person at least once in his life experienced a sad feeling of betrayal on the part of those people to whom he opened himself.

How to forget the past and such an unhappy love? If the emotions were not strong, then the person is almost immediately distracted by extraneous things in the form of work, hobbies and entertainment. Some even manage to build new relationships right away.

But what to do when the attachment to the betrayer is so strong that there is no desire to move on?

The following steps to remove the "needle" from the heart are more suitable for the female half of the population, although some men can use them:

• Firstly, for several days you can mope, drown in depression and memories, look at joint photos and pour tears over gifts (girls love to choke toys donated by former boyfriends with bitter hugs - after all, they are not to blame for anything);
• Secondly, when you get tired of crying about your own worthlessness and uselessness, the time will come for especially persistent self-care. Masks, gels, creams, manicures, pedicures, makeup and hairstyles - all this will remind you who is really the victim of the situation and who urgently needs a comforting hug. But in order to find a willing chosen one, it is important to look accordingly.

Bad past won't leave you alone

It happens that in the past such actions were committed that led to catastrophic consequences in the form of nervous breakdown, the loss of friends or the location of loved ones. Things have already been done, and the past cannot be changed. But how to forget significant mistakes from your past if they last years not left alone?

It is important to reconsider the situation and understand your mistakes so as not to make them in the future. Then you need to try to change yourself, if this is important for the location of loved ones and important people. At the same time, one should not forget about one's own psychological state.

It is not uncommon when, as a result of such mistakes and a subconscious change in oneself for the better, confidence in own forces, and numerous complexes come to replace it.

If in the past there were serious problems in society, then in the future a complex of isolation may remain. This is a common defensive reaction of the body - to protect itself from communication so that there is no risk of repeating the mistake.

Don't beat yourself up too much for what you've done. We need to calmly consider the shortcomings that led to negative consequences and carefully replace them with other behaviors. You should not completely refuse to communicate with people, because a person is a social being, and without public relations it will be very difficult.

Any person has a past, and often it gives him pain or unpleasant memories. I want to forget them quickly. It often seems that this is impossible. Well, how to forget the past, if it constantly reminds of itself and does not want to leave today's life? If a person lives yesterday, then the "door" to the future will be closed for him. But there are methods, and even several.

Things and memories

For example, you can get rid of those things that constantly remind you of what you want to forget. Or from those who are connected with this past. You can give them away, donate them, or just throw them away. The main thing is that they do not catch your eye and do not evoke memories. Things are easier, but there are cities, places that remind of something. In this case, you should avoid visiting those places, or even move to another city. Even if it's temporary, until the past is behind you. Then when you return it will no longer matter. The same can be said about people. If you need to forget a person, you must avoid meetings and communication.

Time

You can wait for time to heal. Any emotions gradually change to others, there is no constancy here. You just need to wait for time, and then the past will no longer disturb. It's not easy, it takes patience. It will be difficult, but you need to try to distract yourself with something while time heals. To work, friends, some hobbies. The main thing while it heals is not to withdraw into yourself.

Rethinking

A more difficult option is rethinking. Any negative situation always brings positive consequences. The world is harmonious, therefore, taking something away, it gives back more or better. If you lost your job, it means you will find a better job, or you can even start working for yourself and earn much more. In addition, it will be possible to travel the world, in the end, sleep and relax. To understand what was gained in exchange for what was lost, you need to take a pen and a piece of paper, and then describe in detail all the positive aspects of your current situation.

A change of scenery

Change of scenery is another effective way. Change everything you want to forget, change it. You can just go on vacation, live in a tent on the shore, settle in a country house, and if you want to forget a person, start a new relationship. A change of scenery is not necessarily an escape. Moreover, not everyone has such an opportunity. But you can make repairs, change the interior.

Goals

Another way to forget the past is to keep yourself busy. You need to set a goal for yourself. And even if it is difficult, so much the better. For example, organize your successful business, albeit a small one. Or start a family. This will take a lot of time and effort, and therefore there will simply be no time to think about the past.

Dianetics

You can also use another method. This is Dianetics. The essence of this method is to find free time, get comfortable, relax, and mentally constantly scroll through what torments you. And so several times. At least ten. At the same time, it is necessary to remember and experience exactly what needs to be forgotten. And will be forgotten. Just because you get tired of thinking about the same thing.

How to forgive the past

How to forget and forgive the past, if it is constantly remembered, and resentment seems to eat from the inside. Perhaps it was the person or situation that caused the pain, but in any case, the first step is to take the time to carefully reconstruct the events. Reflect on what caused the conflict. Discuss the situation, if this is not possible, talk to a psychologist. Try to look at the situation from a different angle, as if to "get into the skin" from the other side. Try to understand the motives if it was a person. It is quite possible that you yourself are involved in this, maybe by inadvertently offending someone, and caused that negativity.

You can just throw out your resentment, but not on people and work. For example, sports are great. Or you can selflessly help someone who is in trouble. And remember that by forgiving someone, you first of all help yourself, as you free your future life from negative attachment to the past.

How to forget love

It often happens that a person does not know how to forget past love Well, it doesn't work. It is clear that in one moment she is not forgotten, otherwise it was not love.

Past Relationships

Often the question arises: "How to forget past relationships?" First of all, you can not be alone with your feelings. But attempts to constantly blame the other half for the breakup will not lead to good either, since negative feelings are evoked. It's best to just reflect on the mistakes you've made in the relationship. And accept the gap, henceforth not allowing this.

How to forget a past ex love? What to do?

You can not suppress your feelings, this is not an option. You can recognize and experience them, but not resist. The latter will only increase the heartache and will be accompanied by constant memories. After a breakup, anger and anger often ensue. If you leave them in yourself, do not let them come out, then there is a high probability that the relationship will not be forgotten for a long time. Therefore, you need to find a way to throw them out, but not on others.

New attitudes and views

The ideal way to forget the past is to start another relationship. Feelings are constantly updated, fresh ones will be superimposed on the old ones. At the same time, new relationships are different, already pleasant experiences, they will also be updated, and gradually the old relationships will be forgotten. The main thing is not to look back and not try to strive to return what has already passed, because broken glass you can’t glue it, and if you glue it, then it definitely won’t be without flaws.

It happens that the question often arises of how to forget the past life. Everyone who strives for this has their own reasons. But you must always remember that you need to live in the present, life goes on, and events, people, values ​​are constantly changing, new desires and needs appear. It's good when there is something to remember, everyone has their own story. Just don't overuse it. From past life just need to work on the bugs. And look back only to not make them again. The new cannot be built on the old foundation.

Find a compromise

You can't forget the past, you can only let it go. The difficulty often lies in the fact that a person does not want to change anything. Some people are afraid to start a new life. Initially, you need to decide what exactly is missing for happiness. If you need positive emotions, you can create them yourself for yourself. Buy your favorite book New film, finally go on a long-awaited tour, move, change jobs, just come up with a small but pleasant holiday.

How to forget the past? There is a wonderful rule: "here and now." It is easy to decipher. Here is the right place to live. Now is the time to do it. We need to concentrate on what is happening now, because it is on this moment much more important. The past - it will not return, and nothing can be changed there. But the future can be laid out now, brick by brick. But the past will not distract either, since right now there is just a lot of work to build a new one.

What can the past give

It must be remembered that every minute of life is an additional opportunity to do something useful. And if you do not use it, perhaps someday it will not be enough. You need to live for today. What can the past give? Nothing, you can only look into it. Like a bag from which you can take something. For example, a good lesson.

Remembering the past, a person steals from himself not only the future, but even the present. And he does not notice that in life there is so much new and unknown, beautiful. Our century is generally short, every passing day cannot be returned. It is deposited in the past, which, like a piggy bank, simply collects memories. Therefore, it is better to fill this piggy bank with pleasant memories than to push sadness and tears into it.

It happens that girls in love often wonder how to forget a guy's past. First of all, you need to learn to respect both your past and what the other person had before meeting you. If it is the past, then it has already passed, it does not exist. But the person who is nearby is the real one. And possibly the future. You don’t need to cling to the past, it doesn’t exist, you need to learn from it, and it’s better to live today.